yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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