Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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