I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I deserve this hangover.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize