I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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