my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Alive.
So much puke
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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