A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
