I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
