Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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