My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
