Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
