that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YAS. BRING CRAB.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
