She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
