doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize