hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize