Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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