I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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