summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
