He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
