it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
