I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
