guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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