he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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