Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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