glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
