I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
