I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
