I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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