Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You are a genius and a whore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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