So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
