the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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