please come you make the beer taste better
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
