I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
