you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
