The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do vagina's smell?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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