Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
