I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
