i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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