Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
