U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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