I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
