Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
