so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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