A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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