So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
