Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
