ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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