But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
