I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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