HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
