i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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