Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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