What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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