Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
