um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
