she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Shame is for Republicans.
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