i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
