Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
