awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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