Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
